ramble through the bronx

Monday, October 06, 2003

Oct. 20 -- replaced post with the oh-right-other-people version.

Lessons learned today.

So, I guess everybody's lonely.

I was unable to focus on work today so I went onto the Internet and discovered that Game 5 of the National League Division Playoffs (baseball, for the non-baseball minded who may be reading this... prior to this year I had no idea what such things meant) between the Cubs and the Braves was on tonight. I figured I'd phone my friend And-then-nothing-turned-itself-inside-out and ask him if he wanted to come over to watch the game, since (a) he has no T.V. and (b) he's a big baseball (giants) fan and can explain the finer points of the drama of the game to me (very important and useful). So And-then-nothing agreed and came over and brought beer and I made nachos (double layer of cheese, salsa & chips, yum!) and we watched the game. (my roommate, stuck around for the first few innings but alas, she has a cold, and retired to her room).

While we watched the game, we chatted about various things, like, oh, relationships and so forth. Baseball is very conducive to good conversation. Baseball is good for a society of story-telling. Baseball is about story-telling, and personal histories, and personal interactions, and drama. Baseball, unlike hockey, has enough pauses to allow stories to be told. Hockey is the drama happening Very Quickly over three periods. Baseball is a series of moments, followed by stories about those moments, for nine innings (plus a conveniently timed stretch).

The following people are lonely.

- people whose partners live far away

- people whose partners are real busy

- people whose partners broke up with them

- people who broke up with partners when they moved far away

- people who live with people who are happy and engaged, regardless of whether they have partners far away or no partners at all

- people with no partner at all

- not sure about Jesuits.

I guess I'm lonely, but at least I'm lonely in good company. It would be interesting to figure out the precise differences in loneliness between those who are lonely with partners far away, and those who are lonely because of a complete
lack of partners. Or prospects. Or permission.

I think the loneliness felt by those who have partners, but far away, may be more bitter.

There doesn't seem to be any way to really solve that problem, though.

I wonder how many people around me, who seem like fantastically wonderful well-adjusted graduate students (a possible oxymoron), secretly cry into their pillows at night. I wonder how many would be surprised if they found out who did.

And I wonder if it is easier after high school, or if it's just that I haven't hit anything that was as bad as high school again, and will at some point in my future.

I guess all we can do for each other is listen when someone is calling. And tell stories to each other during baseball games.

Go Cubs go.

jane 1:00 AM [+]